When I look back at my journey of learning to pray, I began with the ACTS formula (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving & Supplication). While knowing that prayer is communicating with God, my focus was often on telling God my needs and concerns in a one-way process. Later, when I was called into full-time ministry, I still adhered to one-direction speaking to God.

       Then came the time when I experienced the pain of the deepest valley of my life. My body, heart and spirit were paralyzed by the wounds of the past. I told God about my pain and at that very moment, I felt that the Lord was there – He was sitting on my right, quietly accompanying and looking at me. I could see compassionate love and care in His eyes. I understand that He was leading me on the path of healing of my life… Looking back now, I still feel like crying. The experience that day let me understand that the Lord very much wanted to express Himself to me. Since then, I started to learn to listen to God in prayer.

       Like many brothers and sisters, I have experienced God speaking to me through some Scriptures or biblical concepts in my mind. I have felt peace surpassing all understanding which lets me know that a certain choice is from the Lord. I have also come to know the will of God in my dreams, and I have felt His presence and company in my ministry and daily life. These expressions from the Lord, whether verbal or otherwise, let me gradually understand that prayer is a two-way communication. When I have expressed myself to the Lord, He would also wish to express Himself to me. All of this gradually increased my understanding of how the Lord answers prayer. Not only does He remind us in our lives (by pointing out our mistakes) and give us guidance (on His direction and will), He also comforts, encourages, heals, accompanies and gives us strength. He even tells us what He likes about us and His love for us.

       So, prayer is a meeting, an encounter, a good time with God. This reveals a strong desire deep in my heart to establish a more intimate relationship with God. The past beliefs and thoughts that “faith means assurance of His saving grace” and “whether I get what I ask for” reflect “whether God listens to my prayer” obstruct my understanding that prayer is really a relationship – the relationship between the Lord and me, with the deepest part being the Lord’s longing for me and my longing for Him. It is about our love, our mutual love… Since this awakening, I gradually learnt to move from desiring His blessings to desiring the Lord Himself and developed a conscious love relationship with Him.

       At this point of writing, I cannot help but ask myself: How then can we listen to the Lord? Experience tells me that we cannot use any methods to control the Lord’s response. The only thing we can do is to keep our hearts open to the Lord and let Him lead us to understand what He is telling us, and to experience His promise: “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:8).