The title above, “The good life is built with good relationships,” comes from the conclusion to a talk by Dr. Robert Waldinger, senior psychiatrist, on a 75-year longitudinal study of more than 700 American men to find out the crucial factors leading to a happy, fulfilling life. The study finds that a good life has nothing to do with wealth, fame or hard work. It is all about good interpersonal relationships. That inspired my thoughts in the three areas below:

1. A good relationship is marked by sharing: “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42)

Whether in family, with friends or the church community, a mature, healthy relationship is never a one-way effort. There must be mutual help and support. The word for “fellowship” in the original language denotes “sharing, contribution and participation.” It tells us that the Christian community is marked not only by the presence of the Lord, but also by generous giving, not being calculating, and by sharing the good times and the bad. When we really live out our fellowship life, we make a good life testimony.

2. Christ is the cornerstone of a good relationship: “God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.” (1 Corinthians 1:9-10)

The Apostle Paul exhorted the Corinthian church to be perfectly united in mind and thought. A life like this is based on God’s call for the church into fellowship with His Son Jesus. When we are “into fellowship,” we not only have fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ but also with Christ. We share in Christ’s redemption and grace for our everyday life. Our good life stems from the fact that God has reconciled us to Him through Christ and renewed His relationship with man, and man’s relationship with man.

3. Prayer is the key to reconciliation: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

Interpersonal relationships need to be maintained, kept fresh and even mended to enable reconciliation and to be kept in good condition. The closer the relationship, the deeper the hurt, alienation and pain when it breaks. We all know about apologies and forgiveness, but every so often, we just cannot do it or will not do it. The reason is probably that we do not find ourselves at fault. Or it may be because we want to protect our dignity and prevent further hurt. Or we may think that it really does not matter who is right and who is wrong after all. And we just do not want to spend any more time pursuing any of this. It is difficult, but not impossible, to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other.” Prayer and intercession are the key – pray that the Lord will help us step onto the path of reconciliation with the other party.

The good life is built with reconciled relationships with God and man.