Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus. In Western countries, it is also a wonderful time for family gatherings. Nevertheless, in recent years, the institution of marriage has faced unprecedented challenges, and this meaning has gradually faded. We engage in a bitter war to defend the family. As I will be leaving the pastorate soon, I had wished to write words of thanks. But in view of the numerous cases of family problems in the last year, I cannot help but express my feelings on this topic again.

       My wife and I had a simple wedding back then. We did not want to bother too many people. So, we did not have bridesmaids or groomsmen. My younger sister drove me to receive the bride, and my wife was sent off by only a few sisters closest to her. Few people were involved, but it was warm. The dinner was attended by family members and a few guests. My wife has always been simple. She was dressed in a simple cheongsam. The guests could not recognize her as the bride and asked her: “Which of your sisters is getting married?” That has become a running joke between us since then. The wedding ceremony at church was also as simple as it could be. The decorations had been reused over and over again. Two brothers helped with photography. To our surprise, Wan Chai Church was filled to the brim from the start. Everyone including some non-believing relatives were actively engaged. We could feel the love and support of relatives, friends, brothers and sisters. What is truly important is not the wedding ceremony, but the marriage.

       Both my wife and I are very “principled” people. We therefore often “fight the good fights” after getting married. We wished to have people we both trusted to help us but we could not find any. When we finally decided to seek marriage counseling, we regretted why we did not do that earlier! From then on, whenever we have issues that are difficult to resolve, we would seek counseling. Every time we encourage couples with difficulties in their marriage to seek counseling, we often hear one of them say, “It is him/her who has problems and who needs counseling. I have no problem. I do not need counseling.” Allow me to advise you all: Please be more humble!

       Many couples do not come to pastors until they are on the brink of divorce. And when they do come, they often assume, “Your purpose is just to persuade us not to divorce, right?” Some other couples quietly divorce without telling the pastors, and consequently disappear from the church afterwards. They probably have no idea how much love and care the pastor has invested in them. Some help them with premarital counseling, officiate their wedding, and bless their new home with prayers. Some also witness the birth of their children, play with them and accompany them as they grow up. We very much wish to walk with the families. During premarital counseling, I would often say this: The “maintenance period” of counseling is lifelong. Whenever a problem arises, do come back to us for “maintenance!” I hope you will understand the goodwill of pastors.

       Christmas is a time for family togetherness. I hope we will all treasure the family because in it are those we love or those we have vowed to love forever. We really need to take good care of them and protect them from harm. I sincerely hope that everyone can have a reunion with your entire family every Christmas and joyfully celebrate every Christmas together.