Recently, the web drama Adolescence has become extremely popular. It portrays the story of a 13-year-old boy named Jamie who is accused of murdering a female classmate. The series reflects various issues in internet culture, education, and family life, prompting deep reflection. Let us consider a few scenes from this drama to reflect on our approach to family pastoral care today.

        Scene One: “Dad, Do You Really Know Me?”

       When Jamie was being questioned at the police station, he firmly denied committing the murder of his classmate, and his father also believed it was not him who did that. However, when the police played a CCTV footage that showed the act of violence, the father looked at the screen in shock and disbelief upon recognizing a figure resembling his son. In the process of growing up, adolescents often experience conflict with their parents as they strive to establish their identity and autonomy. Parents often find their own children, whom they “raised” themselves, to be surprisingly unfamiliar. Yet, teenagers are not “unapproachable strangers” at this stage. It is only that their hormones heighten their emotions due to puberty, which makes them more sensitive. They need to be understood, accepted, and communicated with. Parents’ patience, companionship, and willingness to walk alongside their children are essential.

      Scene Two: “Dad, Do You Know My Culture?”

     The police subsequently visited the school to investigate the case further. Through his son, who studied at the same school, the police officer discovered that the issue originated from the online world. It turned out the emojis on Instagram were not as simple as they seemed but carried meanings of mockery and bullying. The online environment today is exceptionally complex. Having no Instagram or Snapchat might mean having no friends. Since completely forbidding their children from using social media is not practical, parents need to model responsible internet use and discuss boundaries and screen time with their children as early as possible instead of waiting until it gets out of control and becomes a source of conflict. Moreover, parents need to stay alert to whether their children are facing cyberbullying. Paying attention to their children’s emotional fluctuations and offering timely care and guidance are far more important than dealing with the consequences afterward.

       Scene Three: “I Am Ugly and Unattractive”

      While Jamie awaited trial, a psychologist visited him at the correctional center. She explored Jamie’s perspectives on male, sexuality, life and death. She discovered that Jamie deeply felt himself to be ugly and unattractive, with severe emotional instability. When the psychologist announced it would be her last visit, Jamie completely broke down. Although he often challenged the psychologist’s questions, deep inside, he treasured their relationship. The hot chocolate and half sandwich the psychologist gave him meant “she cares about me.” Adolescents may appear rebellious on the surface but, deep down, they long for love. Their emotional development often outpaces their rationality, making them prone to emotional decisions. They want “control” and yet they lack sufficient analytical skills. Parents must understand that when teenagers say “You’re annoying,” it does not mean they do not need you.

      In today’s world, being the parents of teenagers require wisdom and emotional strength. May the Lord grant us faith to accompany our children on their growth journey, relying on Him.

     Jesus said, “‘If you can’? Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24)