How many times have you, in the worst of times, come before God with a broken heart, only to be met with silence? This leads many to keep their hearts frozen. The familiar Psalm 121 makes this clear: God who watches over us “will neither slumber nor sleep.” Still, the psalmist in Psalm 44 cries out: “Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep?” It is a painful lament that demonstrates how God’s people pray amid suffering.

         Show your true feelings: We tend to think that prayer must be “polished”, that we must say the right, spiritual words. Yet, the first lesson Psalm 44 teaches us is this: Prayer is not an art of untrue words. It is a safe place for our most honest feelings.

       The psalm begins with praise, recalling God’s glorious works in the past. Yet that praise only sets the stage for today’s predicament. The psalmist does not attempt to hide disappointment behind pious talk. Instead, he says directly that God has rejected them, letting them be shamed and defeated. The sharp shift from praise to complaint reveals the true nature of prayer, which is to express our authentic feelings to God. Even anger and doubt can be deep and effective prayer.

        Honest anger is closer to God than fake praise. Do not be afraid to lay bare before Him your confusion and sense of abandonment.

           Break the retribution myth: When disaster comes, many search their hearts. “Did I do something wrong? Is this my punishment?” Psalm 44 presents an extremely challenging view: Suffering is not necessarily the result of sin. The psalmist solemnly examined his heart and ruled out “hidden sin.” Then he boldly declares: Despite all this suffering, our hearts have not turned back; our steps have not strayed.

         This challenges the over-simplified formula of “Good brings good, bad brings bad.” Sometimes faithful believers still face suffering that cannot be explained. Your pain is not necessarily the proof of your wrongdoing. Knowing this, we can break free from the trap of self-blame, and we can face suffering for what it is.

           Hold on to God to the end:  The psalmist writes: “For your sake we face death all day long” (which was later quoted by Paul in Romans). This allows us to see that sometimes suffering is the price of faith. The psalm does not end with praying for better circumstances, but cries to God for His unfailing love – that is, God’s promise that does not depend on what people do, and that never changes. When life falls apart, we do not hold on to an explanation. We hold on to the unchanging character of God.

         The late veteran broadcast journalist Andy Rooney once said: “I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.” In the face of disaster, we cannot help feeling deeply pained or utterly confused. However, like the psalmist, we can choose to hold on to God amid all the tension. We can seek Him out, cry out to Him, and keep hoping for what is to come.